Sunday, January 18, 2009

Fucking for the Beginner

As with all sexual activity,
practice makes perfect!



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you may find it takes you some time to get used to anal sex and the sex positions that suit you, but once you're relaxed and at ease with it, you'll most likely find anal intercourse a source of great pleasure. Of course, one of the big issues for gay men having anal sex for the first time is whether they see themselves as "active" or "passive". In other words, what sex position do you take? Top or bottom? And what does that say about your masculinity?

There's an image of the active, masculine, man as being the one who fucks the passive, less masculine, man during gay anal sex - but in reality,
both partners are active to some degree.




The man taking his partner's penis is capable of thrusting his hips, moving his pelvis and enjoying the sex just as much as the man who's doing the penile thrusting.
More recently, gay men having sex have been called the "top"
(the one doing the penetration) and the "bottom" (the one being penetrated).

This is better terminology, but it can get confusing if the bottom is, for example, sitting in his partner's lap, since you might argue he was then on top! If you're confused, don't worry - all will become clear. In fact it's probably time to abandon the notion of active and passive sex positions, and think of one's own sexual position as something that can change from time to time.

What makes anal sex pleasurable?

If you don't already know, a man's prostate gland is in an ideal position to be stimulated during anal sex when his partner's penis presses on it
through the wall of his rectum.

The more a sex position that makes that happen, the more pleasurable it will be.
(different sexual positions suit different shapes of erection) In fact,
the prostate will be stimulated by the thrusting of a penis, or finger, or dildo,
or anything else introduced into the rectum.

And this pressure on the prostate is responsible for much of the pleasure
that the man receiving his partner's penis will actually feel;
but the whole area around the anus is erotically sensitive,
and of course there's the emotional thrill of having sex as well.



If you're new to anal sex, the first thing to do is get comfortable with your own anus. You can wash it, lube it up with oil or sex lubricant and gently caress and finger it during masturbation: this will begin to open you up to the erotic possibilities of the area, and get you used to the feeling of being penetrated - albeit by your own finger.

Next, ask your partner to play with your anus as you enjoy mutual masturbation.
The idea, of course, is to learn in steps, and not to expect to know or do everything at once; the basic idea of anal sex is simple, even if you'll need to experiment with the actual sex positions you're going to use.



And as you go along, you'll also find out what sex itself - and interacting with someone else in this most intimate way - means to you, and what it tells you about yourself.

As far as anal sex positions are concerned, you'll probably want to try both roles - that of penetrator and that of being penetrated. You might find one more rewarding or pleasurable for you, or you might like both.

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